"Don’t let them MLK him" was not a slight at MLK. It was to say, do not let them reduce Mandela’s plight with racism to a kumbahyah song as has been done with MLK.
Modern stories will have you believe MLK thought holding hands with white people would solve the racism issue; and that he, in comparison to Malcom X, was the better negro, the more civilized with a more palatable doctrine. They will have you believe he did not vehemently protest against the racist institutions here and abroad. Not only is that respectability politics, it’s that irritating good negro/bad negro dichotomy (but you’re not like other Black people) that I hate so much. It is also a grossly reductive narrative of their lives.
This isn’t just about racism, but giving people their due accolades. These men were PASSIONATE about change and when someone is passionate about a goal, it is not sought after with weak whimpering. It is not begged for, it is not given a soliloquy and courted, it is DEMANDED! It is TAKEN. Don’t confuse a less violent approach as passivity. MLK was NOT passive. Mandela was NOT passive; he wasn’t on the US terrorist list for nothing.
Today they will mourn him as if they never hated him, and with that will come a whole lot of flowery posts about peace, just like MLK day -nothing about racism, nothing about injustice, nothing about our corrupt goverment, just peace. When you’ve spent your whole life fighting of course you want to talk about peace, but can we talk about why we need(ed) to fight in the first place?
Take pride in Black history, these are the people that insisted you were human first!
Impenetrable optimism is the story of sour grapes lived again and again in the life of an individual. A fox saw some red, ripe grapes hanging invitingly from a vine high above him. No matter how high he leaped, he could not quite reach the lowest of them. At last, in exhaustion, he decided to himself, “Those grapes are probably sour, anyway.” Like the fox, an impenetrable optimist cannot face the pain of wanting the grapes very much and not being able to get them. He is not willing to acknowledge that the grapes are probably as delicious as they look, and that he still is not going to get them.
When an impenetrable optimist cannot get what she wants, she believes that she does not want it. The opposite is true. She wants it, but she cannot get it, and not getting it is a painful experience for her. She sees herself as carefree, but she is not. Her concerns are as important to her as the concerns of others are for them. the difference is that she cannot acknowledge the depths of what she feels. She would rather pretend that she is not disappointed than feel the pain of her disappointment. An impenetrable optimist uses optimism to shield herself from painful emotions.
This pretense masks pain of unmet expectations, pain of loss, fear of failure, and fear of rejection. It is impenetrable because she is unwilling to face the realities of her circumstances. She pretends they are not as difficult as they are. She sees herself as a victim—at the mercy of forces she cannot control—but she will not allow herself to feel the pain of being a victim. She pushes aside the powerful emotions of sorrow, despair, anger, fear, jealousy, and rage. She presents to herself and others the appearance of happy acceptance.
Eventually, the discrepancy between the pain she feels and the image she projects becomes so large that she cannot maintain the image. The shallowness of her life cannot be denied. Despair follows that is too great to be ignored, and a healing crisis begins.
being nice to people who are harassing you is a survival tactic. girls learn this by the time they turn 12, if you flat out tell a guy no, he’ll become angry & the situation will get worse, sometimes even violent. you are taught to be nice and let them down easy,…
Schrodinger’s Douchebag: One who makes douchebag statements, particularly sexist, racist or otherwise bigoted ones, then decides whether they were “just joking” or dead serious based on whether other people in the group approve or not.
An individual who feels powerless-frightened, unwanted, unlovable, and without worth-has an internal radar. This radar scans every room that he enters for a particular target-another individual who feels as powerless as he. When he locates such a person, he feels a sexual attraction. He is not aware of feeling powerless, frightened, unwanted, or unlovable. He feels sexually attracted. Yet something very different has been ignited within him-the need to use another person to create relief, even if only for a moment, of the pain of feeling frightened, unwanted, without worth, and the other excruciating experiences of powerlessness.
He does not realize that the person to whom he is attracted is his counterpart. He cannot see that she, also, is searching for someone to use in the same way. He cannot see the need to exploit another in himself, so he cannot see that in the other person. He has become her target in the same way she has become his. She is no more interested in him than he is in her.
If he could see clearly, he would be repulsed and so would she. It is one thing to realize that the person you are with means nothing to you, and it is another to realize that you mean nothing to the person with you. His interest in her is limited to temporary satisfaction of his craving. He cannot see that she has only the same interest in him. He is as replaceable to her as she is to him. They both use one another to feel WORTHY. This is the dynamic that lies beneath the experience of addictive sexual attraction. It is the central core of human negativity. It is as ugly to see as it is to experience.
1. Increase your awareness. The first thing to do is to recognize how much they’re interfering with your daily life, and holding you back from being happy and free.
2.Try to be specific. What is it that worries you about the situation? What is the one thing that terrifies you most?
3. What do you need? Reassurance, support, or a friend by your side? Or perhaps you need to learn and acquire new skills? Once you know what you need you can seek out that help.
4. Try journalling. Writing down your different fears can be source of release - so you don’t feel so powerless, or trapped and overwhelmed. Also, writing things down often helps clear our mind, so our thinking’s more rational and less emotional.
5. Talk to someone. It’s often very damaging to bottle things inside. So try and find a friend who you know will understand. Also, it’s hard to keep fighting when you feel you’re alone.
6. Arrange to work with a counsellor. A counsellor is trained to help you uncover the roots, and to teach you the skills that you need to cope with fear.
7. Do it afraid. By choosing to take action and face your different fears you will undermine their power, and the hold they have on you.
8. Flip the fear around. When your mind is assaulted by a sense of fear and dread – turn the situation round and imagine things going well … Then, think of how you’ll feel if you don’t give in to fear.
9. Look for a role model. We know that there are others who also live with fear – yet they refuse to give in, and they choose to push through fear. Watch and learn from their example – and do the same things, too.
10. Normalise failure. None of us is perfect, or always confident. We all make mistakes, and we all get it wrong. But trying leads to progress and change over time. Understand you’re on a journey; be patient with yourself.