“I go through phases. Some days I feel like the person I’m supposed to be, and then some days I turn into no one at all. There is both me and my silhouette. I hope that on the days you find me and all I am are darkened lines, you still are willing to be near me.”—Mary Kate Teske
“You don’t need anyone’s affection or approval in order to be good enough. When someone rejects or abandons or judges you, it isn’t actually about you. It’s about them and their own insecurities, limitations, and needs, and you don’t have to internalize that. Your worth isn’t contingent upon other people’s acceptance of you — it’s something inherent. You exist, and therefore, you matter. You’re allowed to voice your thoughts and feelings. You’re allowed to assert your needs and take up space. You’re allowed to hold onto the truth that who you are is exactly enough. And you’re allowed to remove anyone from your life who makes you feel otherwise.”—Daniell Koepke
“I’m afraid I’ll never finish college. I’m afraid I’ll finish college with student loans I can never pay back. I’m afraid I’ll get a degree and won’t be able to find a job in that field. I’m afraid I’ll get a degree, get the job I dreamed of, and hate it.”—A Mental Illness Happy Hour listener whose list of fears matches mine four for four. (via ashley-fox)
Most men in the study learned about the existence and function of periods at home, primarily from sisters or mothers, but sometimes through fathers or brothers. For the rest of the young men, though, the subject had never been broached with family. Some picked it up through friends, or by piecing together bits and pieces from tampon commercials and TV shows. But these second-hand sources may have well been one of Ze Frank’s videos: True Facts About Menstruation: over-dramatized half-truths, laced with suggestion and innuendo.
In their stories, the young men described how in-school sexual education had often let them down. Most of the men described how their sex ed classes either skirted the issue entirely, or described it plainly, medically, as little more than the discharging of an unfertilized egg.
From my experience, sex ed can be less than useful. In 7th grade I remember learning two things: that girls have three holes, a lesson conveyed with a chalk drawing on the board, and that my teacher’s husband, a paramedic, often had to take people to the hospital because they’d gotten something lodged inside themselves. High school didn’t get much better. Sure, we learned a few things — periods happen, watch out for when they don’t — but absent was any sort of discussion of the physical or psychological effects of menstruation: the sporadicity, the irregularity, really anything that would help a group of sexually-charged boys better understand the female experience.
“Boys’ early learning about menstruation is haphazard,” the researchers write in their study. “The mysterious nature of what happens to girls contributes to a gap in boys’ knowledge about female bodies and to some negative views about girls.” In their stories, some of the young men studied described their continuing horror and disgust at the concept of menstruation, how they saw their menstruating girlfriend as crazy, demanding, or overly emotional.
“I’m surprised with all the talk about racism going on in the world right now, their are only blacks on this show! Is this only open to the black race? I know a lot of people of other races that would love to be involved in this. I do like the show tho!”—
“Sometimes you just need to cry and be sad. You need to break down and be torn apart. You need to learn to pick yourself up and put yourself back together. Sometimes, the only way to be happy is to give into sadness first, because without sadness, there is no happiness; you would never learn to smile.”—
And then tell them how unreasonable it is to suggest that people pack up their entire lives and move to another country to run away from racism instead of racism being combated and fixed where they live. The people being oppressed by an unfair power structure, the victims of racism, should have to be punished further and leave the country? How does that make sense? What kind of Abe Lincoln shit is that?
“Do not cheat thy Heart and tell her,
‘Grief will pass away,
Hope for fairer times in future,
And forget today.’
Tell her, if you will, that sorrow
Need not come in vain;
Tell her that the lesson taught her
Far outweighs the pain.”—Adelaide A Procter